Cat life no 7. One day last month on a Sunday afternoon, my dog and I were doing some last minute cleaning up from our recently shifted to new home for Auckland martial arts at 315 queen St.
Carrying some rubbish to the street bin, my dog spotted a transvestite and a customer sitting on the footpath outside the comedy bar with a customer eating a hamburger. My Yorkshire terrier seeing food went over to investigate finished with the rubbish saw my dog eating some meat, wandering over I waited for my dog to finish and then quietly pick the dog and started to walk back to the shop when I suddenly received a big kick up the arse. I spun round to find the transvestite four letter mouthing me off for taking the dog away when it was feeding it.
My response to this attack was to smack it in the ear which earnt me a hamburger being thrown in my faced .Now its been a while since I’ve had any hamburger throwing practice hence I missed.
Next, the transvestite attacked me with a bottle, now this is serious stuff to attack a 61-year and with 42 years of judo experience so dropping the dog I went into goshinjitsu mode [self defense kata] and threw the bitch on the concrete. As it went over it tied to bite me and flashes of oh! oh! aids, hepatitis a, b, and c flashed into my mind. This was followed by a thud[her body hitting the ground] a screech next moment its on the ground with my hand squeezing it throat like a tube of colgates.
My right hand takes the bottle from its hand which I gave to her customer whom had been trying to stop the whole thing.
I then made the biggest mistake in my life by letting it go instead of kicking the shit out of it and breaking both of its arms because when I let it go because the transvestite then attacked me with two bottles.
Plan B.
Martial arts shuffle backwards, worked as both bottles missed.
In the meantime, my daughter is on the phone to the police, who after asking in a slow mechanical type voice twice where was it ,what was happening ,and who was being attacked. They finally asked if that was the Rick Littlewood who did judo?
Meanwhile, back on Queen St, two more bottle attacks later, a W.W.2 veteran was trying to collect the bottles from the street so the transvetite would have nothing to throw.
For his effects, the transvestite shoved a broken bottle into his face, the old digger never flinched and stood his ground until l raced up and dragged him away, still no sign of the cops whose H.Q. is 100 m away.
Finally, the transvestite and customer hail a taxi and jump in. We got the number and re-contacted the police, whose answer was: sorry we are too busy day please come back later.
Morale of this story;
Don’t call the police unless you are already dead or you are a black American golf loser who needs 100 police to protect him.
Rick Littewood
Judo 7th dan
1 comments: