* Sensei Rick has been seen walking around the dojo in Hefner-esque pyjamas looking like death-warmed-up without the Viagra.
* The club has been plagued with injury. And what makes matters worse is that they -- the walking and half-walking wounded -- have been coalescing on the side of mat drinking beer.
* For the first time in decades the doors have remained substantially shut during a training session because it has been “cold.”
* Technical instruction has been given by a visiting, one-legged Italian.
Numbers, however, are rising! So what are we the players to make of the sum of the situation? Kong presumes that Sensei Rick is merely continuing to offer instruction in the Zen tradition. Ergo, the following may or may not be of some assistance.
Hugh Hefner's style tips By ELAINE LIPWORTH
Hugh Hefner: Mr Playboy himself on his fashion and grooming regimes. He has 200 pairs of silk pyjamas, which is a good thing, because he spends 12 hours a day in bed.My favourite outfit consists of pyjamas and a custom-made smoking jacket.
I have 200 pairs of silk pyjamas. I always wear black during the day. Black is serious, for taking care of business.
Hugh Hefner says he feels better at 81 than he did at 21.
Silk against skin is very sensual. You have no idea how comfortable it is to lie around wearing pyjamas.
I started wearing them all the time because I was working at night, and then I started wearing them when I entertained.
I realised I could get away with it. Then, of course, people were disappointed if they didn’t find me in pyjamas.
I also wear black velvet loafers, which are custom-made for me by Di Fabrizio in Los Angeles. I have 12 pairs.
My girlfriends and I spend 12 hours a day in bed. We watch TV and movies, play games and listen to music.
I have a six-foot high-definition TV, Xbox 360 and video projector. Everything is operated by a touch-screen panel next to the bed.
All of my 35 Armani suits are custom-made. I am probably the only guy in town who has Armani suits with turn-ups.
It’s a connection to my sense of tradition and to the time when I was growing up before World War II.
My best shirts look like they are from the Twenties and Thirties.
Rick Pallack makes my formal shirts; he is a local fashion designer and a friend. They are white with cuffs.
I have absolutely no idea how much anything costs. My head of housekeeping does my shopping.
I don’t have a stylist, though I choose my clothes and shoes. When I got the Playboy Mansion I didn’t leave the property for months, to shop or to go anywhere.
Everything I needed was here. I never think about how much I spend on clothes.
The old saying goes that if you have to ask how much it costs, you can’t afford it. And it’s true.
I wish hats would come back into fashion. I like them, particularly when your hair is thinning.
I have a Panama that came from Hollywood Hatters and an Aristocrat captain’s cap for wearing by the pool.
The reason I look good is that I have good genes. I never work out.
The first order of business is this: pick your parents with a lot of care.
Mine always looked good and lived for a long time. Take care of yourself and have a good attitude. Sex, of course, keeps you fit and I sometimes take the girls dancing.
I’m thinking of having a little face-lift. There’s nothing wrong with plastic surgery.
I think it is absolutely fine for men. I have already had teeth implants, and a few years ago I had a neck tuck.
We are dealing with a whole different set of things physically now because we live so much longer.
I am 81 and feel better than I did at 21. I have three girlfriends, a hot TV show and a hugely popular men’s magazine.
Life just gets better and better.
Jono, a recent devotee of the art, sport and discipline of Judo (and one of our club players), has recently taken steps to plumb the esoteric depths of Judo. In order to do so he has given himself a self-inflicted wound and is reportedly pursuing, with a view to developing and refining, the programme initiated by Moshe Feldenkrais. Results are pending and we look forward to seeing Jono back on the mat shortly.
